The Portion of my Inheritance

It was at the IF Gathering Conference that it all started.

A miracle in itself.

My beloved friend desperately tried to get tickets weeks before the event, to no avail. With limited number of tickets, we were just plain out of luck.

But, just two days before the IF Gathering was to take place, she made a comment on a face book page expressing her disappointment over not being able to get a ticket.

And then . . . God began to move.

Someone contacted her and said they had a ticket for her and my devoted friend asked if they might have just one more.

It took the precious lady the whole day to find one more ticket and I got the call at 11:30 that night that we were going to Austin!                 

Since both of us were HUGE Ann Voskamp fans and had talked about and dreamed about this day many, many times, we were absolutely thrilled!                     

So we packed in haste and we were on our way, just last minute like.

But our Lord had already planned the whole thing out, detail by detail and the blessings from Him poured out over us the whole entire weekend.

We really went for Ann Voskamp, and we were not disappointed. She was so gracious and lovely and we were so grateful to our Lord for the blessing of her and for giving us this very great and precious gift. I will forever hold this time in my heart.                   

 I did not really know the other speakers but boy, was I in for many wonderful surprises. I loved them all and God used them in amazing ways and I have been pouring over my notes.

But there was one speaker He used to heal my heart in a way that I never knew needed healing. It was Christine Caine.

 She told a little about her life. She was abandoned as an infant and on her birth certificate, in the name box was written, “no name”. She showed us the actual birth certificate. She had many more amazing things to say and I was so moved and so blessed by it all.

I came home with my head spinning with much to process.

 Don’t you just love how our Lord works? Just out of the blue He whispers His love over you and you are forever changed. His timing is always perfect and His tenderness and His grace sweeps you off your feet. You are left stunned and amazed at His goodness and totally deeper in love with Him then you could of ever thought possible. “But I am poor and needy, yet the Lord thinks upon me.” Ps. 40:17

 So here it is:

 I was so young and confused. I was giving birth to a baby girl that was lost to us. Five weeks before her due date, and she. was. just. gone.

I felt so terrified and I did not know what to do or how to handle it. I was unable to make decisions and there were so many to be made. I was alone. Oh, there were people around me that loved me and was there for me, but I could not share my pain or my loss with them.

That was 32 years ago, and I believed that God had completely healed my heart but He had yet one more layer to peel back.

As soon as I opened my eyes this morning, He said so sweetly to my heart, “You never named your baby girl.”

Up until this point, I had never thought about it. Even after I heard Christine speak it never even entered my mind, until my Lord told me.

My baby girl’s birth certificate, in the name box has “no name”. And my heart broke when I finally understood it.

I couldn’t wait to tell my daughter and she said to me, “Mom, don’t you remember the book Heaven is For Real? When he saw his sister in heaven she told him she was waiting for her name.” And then, she helped me pick out a name.

 My baby girl’s birthday is tomorrow. God’s perfect timing.

On February 11^th, my daughter will have her name.

Isabel Grace.

Isabel (God’s Promise, and also after my grandmother)

Grace (the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God, and also after my great grandmother)

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel; “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. Is 43:1