The Portion of my Inheritance

About this blog:

It all started with you~firstborn of my daughter, and the longing of my heart for you to really know me.                                      Photo by Renitta

 Photo by Renitta

For my mind retraces the map of time spent with my own grandmother;

Lorrane Isabell Brown—my firstborn’s namesake-                                               

Her~~  steadfast, gentle, always constant. She was my rock, the source of strength in my early years. She was such a tender, quiet spirit and her heart was loving towards her own. I knew she loved me, there was always a feeling of belonging in her presence. She never judged me, even in the silliness of my youth.                        

And yet, there is a sadness from that very precious time with her that stings at the thought of it. The longing in my heart nags at me and regret weighs me down heavy.                        

I wish I knew her more. I wish I could travel back the distance of thirty plus years and steal moments from time to get to know her heart. And I turn it over and over again.

What were her dreams?

What were her joys and disappointments?

What did she love?

But mostly, my heart yearns to know about her relationship with the Lord. I never knew, we never talked about it.                      

But yet, it was the picture hanging crooked on her wall that first drew me in. It was the Lord Jesus, standing at the the door, knocking. And He waited.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” Revelation 3:20

It hung there for as long as I can remember and these memories are so deeply engraved on my heart that if I were to close my eyes, all these years later, I can still see so vividly every detail of that beloved portrait.

I spent hours in front of that picture, studying every brush stroke, every line and curve of that beautiful man-longing for Him. Even then, He bid me to come.

 

 

 Picture by Photobucket

And the picture of Jesus hanging on the cross with it’s warm yellows and gold hues.  And the blood? Even then it broke a little girl’s heart to look upon it.

And yet another,

The deep, dark blue carpet hung on the whole span of a wall hovering over the sofa. There were the twelve apostles with Jesus on the exact night He was betrayed.

He was there on her walls and her home told these stories of the Lord. There, for all who entered to see, but we never spoke of it. I never knew her heart.

There was so much more to know, so much more to learn from her and it slipped away and I cannot recapture all the lost time.

Therefore, my beloved granddaughter, a few months after you were born I rushed out and purchased a journal with good intentions. I began to collect things; stickers, scriptures, and pictures. I jotted down notes, telling of your great accomplishments, your first words, things you loved to do, things you loved to eat and of our special times together. The journal just kept growing, overflowing, stuffed with the remnants of things passing away. It grew fatter and fatter because there was no time to journal, there were too many other things to do, pressing things. It was left forgotten and time ticked away and years passed and still there was no recording. It just never happened.                                 

And so, this blog is for you, my dear, beautiful girl.

And it’s for your sister . . .

And for your future sisters . . .

And for your future brothers and cousins . .

For your own children. . .  

and for your children’s children . . . .                  

 

    

YOU WILL KNOW!                                                                

 

 

You will know my heart.

You will know the things we did together and all the joys we shared.

You will know the things that I love dearly.

You will know how I love to spend my time and my efforts.

You will know how crazy in love with Jesus I am, that in Him I live and move and have my being.

You will know the victories in Him, both in and through the good and the bad, that His glory is displayed in the lives of His children.

You will know that He is always faithful and with Him there is beauty for ashes.                                 

And at the end of the day when we neatly fold it all up and put it all away, you will know.

You will have a tangible visual to look upon, and through these recordings you can go through life knowing that you are deeply loved—by me, and by your heavenly Father, your Abba-daddy. The King of kings and the Lord of lords loves you and calls you by name.

Yes my love, You. Will. Know.

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying; “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.  Jeremiah 31:3