~But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16~

They fell softly and lovingly upon my ears. Just three little words, and I heard them so clearly and I knew exactly Who was doing the talking.

My eyes widened and my heart quickened. Oh goody! A new assignment? A new calling?

Just three little words. . .

“Come up hither.”

With much joy in my heart and an eagerness in my voice, I answered directly, without hesitation.

“OK Lord!”

His next words to me was a question and the answer did not come so easily this time, and just as quickly as the joy entered into my heart, it fled away. The smile on my face fell and my mind raced for an answer, but there was no need to search, for I knew exactly what He wanted from me. For His probing words searched out my heart and tested my mind, (Jer. 17:10), and now He was calling me to the mat.

I teach a lot about idols; what they are and how to recognize them in our lives, but this caught me completely off guard. I mean, I teach this to other people, how could I miss it in my own life. And honestly in my own self awareness and constant striving, I thought I was doing pretty good. In my mind, memorizing scripture and spending hours in prayer gave the appearance that I was doing ok spiritually. But He had something else in mind for me.

“Where do you spend your time in worldly pleasures and comforts?” He asked me.

My eyes slowly turned to my soft, comfortable chair, where I would crash every evening from exhaustion, not having the energy to take one more step. It served to comfort and sooth me while I watched movies every single night, unwinding and just wanting to relax and think about nothing. I don’t watch anything bad, just habitual, and it had become my idol, my go-to, my worldly pleasures and comforts. It was what I was turning to instead of Him and I couldn’t believe that I had fallen prey to it without my even knowing.

I immediately went into defense mode as I stammered out my answer.

Struggling with constant sinus infections and fatigue gave me comfy chair entitlement and I stood ready to defend.

“B-b-but Lord! You know that I don’t feel good and You know that I am exhausted!” I whined.

He answered, “You never asked Me.”

And He said no more.

He had approached me and made me an offer, it was now up to me. I knew what He was asking of me, but I had to make the choice to do it. I didn’t have to do it, He wasn’t demanding it from me. It had to be my choice.

Graham Cooke says, “If you say yes to Jesus, you’ll have to say no to something else.”

And my heart wanted HIM more than anything else, so I said yes.

He was waiting for me.

My saying yes took my relationship with Jesus to a whole new level. I had to open myself up, make myself available and position myself to receive everything that He desired to give me, and He desired to fill me up with Himself!

And it changed everything!

So the next day, and every day after, when my physical body felt frazzled and worn, I would call out to Him and in His faithfulness, He would strengthen and energize my body and I began to spend the time that I usually would sit in front of the television with Him.

This time has blessed me beyond words and He has filled me so completely, and I, like the Psalmist can say, “He has set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth—Praise to our God; (Psalm 40:2-3)

The sad thing is, that it has now become so apparent to me how many opportunities that I had missed and I grieve over that loss. How many people could I have been praying for instead of watching movies. How many hours could I have been spending with my Lord, how many lives could I have invested in?

I thought of the movie Schindler’s List. One of the most powerful moments in the story was when he realized that he could of done more. The war was over and he and the Jewish people that he had saved were finally free. As he started to walk away he suddenly realized that he still had more bargaining chips. His ring, his car and whatever he had left could of bought him just one more, just one more. . . .

I still enjoy my soft, comfy chair, but it serves me differently now and I love it even more. Much of my quiet time is spent there, I listen to sermons or praise music while I knit or sew, anything that will bring me into His presence.

I am not saying that I will not ever watch movies, I am saying however that I will not ever watch movies habitually.

This statue plaque is on one of the buildings in Budapest Hungary

The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills. Habakkuk 3:19

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age. Titus 2:11-12