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Archive for the ‘My Heart’ Category

The Just Judge

I love the scriptures that are encouraging and full of sweet promises. The kind that wrap you up tight, like a down filled quilt, warming you from the inside out, hiding you away, safe from the elements. The kind that sprinkle kisses all over your checks, soft and tender, and you just know you are loved deeply, protected and shielded.

These are the scriptures that draw me in, they make my heart smile and I reflect on them often. Reminding myself of these precious promises have helped me through so many struggles. I keep them hidden deep within my heart so that I will have constant access to these awesome treasures. I have them highlighted in my bible, underlined and boxed in. I have sticky tabs with labels and I write them down in various places in my home so that they are always within reach. They are poetic and beautiful with the power to take your breath away, causing a fluttering of your heart. They are the solid rock that I stand on day in and day out, my fortress and my most Beloved is wrapped up within each of them.

But there is a flip side to this life and even when I am lost in the layers of His folds, tucked in tight and safe, there are still these nagging questions and I am just like the Psalmist that wrote “For I was envious of the boastful, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no pangs in their death, but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men, nor are they plagued like other men. Therefore pride serves as their necklace; violence covers them like a garment. Their eyes bulge with abundance; they have more than heart could wish. They scoff and speak wickedly concerning oppression; they speak loftily. They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walks through the earth.” (Ps. 73:3-9)

For pain and suffering are our constant companion, there is no escaping it. It is God’s people that I see hurting. The wicked seem to thrive and prosper while the righteous are oppressed, beat down and tied up. The news and social media are plastered with evil and it’s enough to make a person weary beyond all recompose. We live in scary times and the future looks bleak.

But it’s the scriptures that I seem to skim over time and time again that address this problem, if I would but pause for a moment and really see; both for the righteous and the wicked.

Being reminded of His presence and of His promises is a daily gift He gives to us, and I, through the Psalmist learn truth by way of the Lord’s prompting. And when the Psalmist came to the realization of this truth he spoke my heart, “Whom have I in heaven but You?And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.  My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps. 73:25-26

As for the wicked: “God is a just Judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day.” (Ps 7:11) And my gentle Daddy will someday stand up and say, “ENOUGH!” And He will bear His teeth and tear into the evil of this present time. “He will make them as a fiery oven in the time of His anger; He shall swallow them up in His wrath, and the fire shall devour them. Their offspring He shall destroy from the earth, and their descendants from among the sons of men. (Ps. 21:9-10)

And then . . . .

He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Rev. 21:4

Someday . . . . .

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His peace came today;

fluttering softly like a feather, swaying down, down and finally landing tenderly upon me, soft and fragile. It wrapped itself around me with edges just barely grasping my heart and I clung desperately to it. The pain in my heart was held just within the boarders and I had to make the choice to accept the gift.

After three weeks of confusion and heart ache; crumpled and crushed, stunned and shocked from the blow, shaking heads at disbelief, His peace was welcomed.

Losing someone you love is very . . . very hard.

Peace came on his earth birth day. He didn’t quite make it to 70 years. The usually happy occasion became a sick dread, knotted tight in my gut as it approached, knowing he wasn’t here to celebrate, and I fought the constant urge to call him anyway.

But the Lord gifted us on that day with His peace that most certainly surpassed our understanding.

And He reminded me that my father now had a new birth date . . . . in Heaven.

And there was great celebrating and rejoicing on that day, for precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. (Ps. 116:15)

And the bleeding heart, gaping open wide will heal, just as dad is healed, completely and perfectly in his new home, the mansion that his Lord prepared just for him, for “our citizenship is in heaven, and we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body” (Phil. 3:20-21).

And in his exceedingly great happiness he now utterly understands what I can not wrap my brain around, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him.’ (1 Cor. 2-9)

What God has prepared for dad,

forever and ever and ever . . .

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Tribute to a Lover of God

Les Beebe

Les, our Friend,

Met up with God face to face.

He was a rock of a man, a seeker of God,

Beloved by all,

Save by Grace.

Hallelujah!

Face to face with God, our Savior.

Face to face with Christ, our Brother.

Spirit to Spirit with The Counselor.

Rejoicing and praising like no other.

Hallelujah!

Now Les can SEE.

Now he KNOWS to the full.

Our dear Les, full of kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, mercy,

was completely guided by

God’s golden rule.

Hallelujah!

Les, confident, kind,

incredibly sweet.

At the ready to serve anyone.

In doing so, washing our Savior’s feet.

Hallelujah!

For unto “the least of these”

Les lived and breathed, for it was children he loved the most.

His dear and darling children,

Yet it was in Christ that he boast.

Hallelujah!

Children are a heritage from the Lord,

Sons a reward from Him.

Blessed is the man who lives to see his children’s children.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Hallelujah!

Giving his life to save 3 others,

His last breath here and his next breath there,

On his knees, hands lifted high, tears streaming,

to gaze upon that face so fair.

Hallelujah!

Life is but a vapor.

Life is but a mist.

We realize that even better now,

by losing our sweet Les.

Hallelujah!

Knowing you has made us better.

Losing you we have set our hearts to praise, prayer and peace.

We will see you again, soon, Les.

For God’s love, through Christ, has set us sinners free.

Hallelujah!

By Andrea Duwe

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Revelation 21:4 

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I love how the Lord works in our lives, how He reveals Himself to us in the unexpected. How His living Word touches us so completely and so deeply, no stone unturned, to the point that it is a miracle in itself.

If we could truly see all the times that He has hedged us behind and before and laid His hands upon us, we would be astounded! We would be so awestruck by His grace and His love that we would live a totally surrendered life.

Although our physical eyes can not perceive Him all the time, in His mercy He gives us these wonderful glimpses. Just enough to leave your soul begging for more, so satisfied and so wonderfully joyful. He is truly an awesome God.

It has always been for me that in the teaching of others it has been me that walks away with the treasure, the gold nugget that gets stuck right between your breastbone and your heart, wedged in deep. It has always been me that the lesson was for, the unveiling of His love through the beautiful words of His book, the living Word that pours out, drenching my spirit completely through.

It has been throughout our history together, me and Him, together, living and moving and having my being, that I sometimes get it, just an inkling. The knowing that He did it once and He can absolutely do it again.

And it was the young man David that showed me this time. The official but unofficial king, not yet even a man, that walked right up to the famous mighty giant warrior, with sling in hand and His Lord in his heart.

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The mighty Israelite army had tucked their tails and scattered, hiding in the hills or anywhere that they felt would bring them safety. And king Saul also trembled with fear over the day and evening bullying of that rascal Goliath. Oh I understand their fear. Fear has a way of wrapping it’s gnarling fingers around my neck and choking the life out of me. And just when I think I have conquered it, my own giants show up and mock me and threatens me and I run for cover, just like the army of Saul.

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But young David volunteered for the task of killing Goliath, despite the fear that hung thick that day, an army and king that were dismayed and defeated, despite the the fact that the cards were stacked against him, in every single way possible. Saul pointed out to him that he would not be able to prevail against the giant because he was still a youth and because he was not a warrior, but was indeed a shepherd and Goliath was a experienced man of war. King Saul and his army looked at the physical things of this earth, their strength was in the armies of Israel, but David’s strength was in his Lord.

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And when I read the words that David spoke next, everything stopped and I truly heard these words being spoken to me from the mouth of God Himself. I understood immediately what He meant and it was for my heart only.

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But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, I went out after it and struck it and delivered the lamb from it’s mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by it’s beard, and struck and killed it. Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God. Moreover David said,”The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” (1 Sam. 17:34-37)

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David was not a part of the trembling army that day, he was set apart for the purpose of the Lord. He did not put his trust in the army, or in the armor of Saul, David completely relied on his God, the One who had delivered him from the paw of the lion. David showed up that day with power and the assurance of the Lord because he had a history with God and David already knew what God could do.

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And the stone that David used that day to slay the giant, I suspect was not much bigger than a mustard seed. Goliath came to David with the things of the world, but David came to Goliath in the name of the Lord.

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And David’s words to the giant? “You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, who you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand. (1 Sam. 17:45-46)

These words that David said so long ago were written just for me! And as I read them, this is what I heard:

My daughter, do not fear, have I not shown you in the past My mighty strength? Have I not always taken care of those that I love so deeply? I have done it before and I will do it again! Remove the fear from your troubled heart and rest in Me, your strong and mighty tower, and just watch what I will do.”

1Sam. 17

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You have hedged me behind and before and laid your hand upon me, such knowledge is too wonderful for me, it is too high, I cannot obtain it. Ps. 139:5-6

photos are from various children’s bibles

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I just love the story that Christine Caine tells of one of her classes at Sydney University. “Her professor projected a picture of a small black dot in the middle of a very big white screen, then asked the class, “What do you see?”

Every student responded to his question the same way, “A black dot.”

He paused then asked the same question again, “What do you see?”

She went on to say that every single student in that class failed to see the big white space around the dot! Their eyes naturally focused on the black dot.”

This is what Christine added to her story:

The same is true in our lives, and that’s why it is essential that we renew our minds so

we can see the bigger picture. The more we focus on God and magnify Him in our

lives, the smaller the black dot will become.” Christine Caine~Fist Things First

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As soon as I read her words I understood the black dot concept. I confess that I am a black dot seeker. I have a hard time taking my eyes off of the dot and seeing the white space with my physical eyes. And it’s a constant prayer of mine, this John 3:30, that He would help me to decrease, and He does it, and it hurts, and my black dot grows bigger.

But like a mad bull I continue to press in, I lower my head and close my eyes and charge, “Lord, help me to decrease so that You may increase!” And once again He does it,and it hurts and the black dot grows bigger, and bigger, and bigger . . . . .

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And I cling to the dot until my knuckles turn white, not daring to let go, and the more I focus on the dot, the more I hold onto the dot. The dot increases and the white decrease and my heart grows heavy.

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Then I realize that it’s the actual clinging that causes so much pain. The constant prying my hand away rips my heart in pieces in the process of it. “And who will save me from myself?”

In my stubborn and willful nature in refusing to let go, it finally becomes so clear. The more I focus on the white space, the smaller that black dot becomes. My death grip relaxes a bit, just enough to allow His peace to creep into my heart, just enough to see a glimpse of His truth, of His promises. And it is enough.

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To actually decrease I must not look to the dot, I must constantly direct my focus on the white space. He is so loving and tender in the revealing, and He refuses to give up on me, to leave me or forsake me, He consistently tends to me, leading me in His way. To live in His truth I must endure the pain of decreasing if I am to have His future of peace and a hope. (Jer. 29:11) It is in the seeking Him, searching Him with all my heart that leads to my decreasing, so that He may increase, so that He may be glorified. So I will continue to cry out to Him, “Lord! Help me to decrease so that You may increase!”

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When I truly seek Him, He is absolutely everywhere. Every word I read presses it in deeper, every conversation, every scripture, and every song. So I leave you with one of my favorites.

Watermarks Friend for Life~written by Nathaniel and Christy Nockels:

Friend for life who took my pain
The cleansing flood You remain
Wash over me till I can’t be seen

Living Water swallow me
Deepest River wash me clean
Jesus, Savior more of Thee
Jesus, more of Thee

Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
Come and leave Your mark on me
Jesus, more of Thee
Jesus, more of Thee

Friend for life I’ll carry on
Through the power of this blood
Let it spill over, over till I can’t be seen

Living Water swallow me
Deepest River wash me clean
And Jesus, Savior more of Thee
Jesus, more of Thee

Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
And come and leave Your mark on me
Jesus, more of Thee
Jesus, more of Thee

Deep is the stain inside of me
Deeper the River washes me clean
I’ve been the one who cries in the night
You’ve been the Friend of my life

Living Water swallow me
Deepest River wash me clean
Jesus, Savior more of Thee
Jesus, more of Thee

Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
Come and leave Your mark on me
Jesus, more of Thee
Jesus, more of Thee
Jesus, more of Thee

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But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Romans 7:23-25

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To see her standing there against the backdrop of the glistening water delighted me to my core. Her face was sun kissed pink and her dazzling blue eyes matched the color of the sky, bright and clear, sparkling with joy. The wind gently blew her hair, tossing it in wisps around her checks and framing the outline of her jaw. Tiny little strands take flight and lasso around in delight, these numbered hairs of her head.

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I was caught up in this glorious moment and my heart beat strong within my chest, thump, thump, thump, at the beautiful sight of her. This is what is feels like to be totally in the glory moment. Sheer happiness at just being alive. Looking into the eyes of your beloved and seeing the reflection of that love shining outward. The joy that her face held added to my happiness. I love to see her happy and it made my heart swell within me, too hard to breath, and I held my breath for just a moment, and I kept my eyes fast on her. I did not want to miss one single moment.

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I try to memorize every detail of this moment, soaking in as much as I could absorb, not wanting to overlook the beauty of it all.

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Then I shifted my eyes upward . . . just a little. I knew exactly where this moment came from. The Psalm sang out loud in my heart, “I will lift my eyes towards the hills.”(Psalm 121:1) For “every good and perfect gift is from Him”. (James 1:17) The maker of heaven and earth, and of moments just like this. And every gift is meant to point us to Him, to His wondrous love and mercy, and it does exactly that.

His blessings are found everywhere, in every shape and size.

They come little in form, tiny hands that grasp tightly to mine, and I can feel the little bird bones, delicate against my own frame, and I marvel at His work.

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They come in the form of brown eyes, penetrating deep into my own, drawing me in and my heart caves, giving way under the weight of them.

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Of dark, unyielding curls that hang loose and free, loping around from the breeze. Even in the stillness these curls do exactly what they please, and I smile at the thought of it.

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Tender, precious hugs that linger just long enough to feel the heartbeats mingle and become a single ensemble.

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They may even come in the form of favorite rain boots, for often times it is the little things that bring delight.

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These wonderful pleasures are His blessings to us, His gifts and I cherish them dearly. It’s in these gifts that we feel and see His amazing love, how He has lavished it so completely on us, and I drink in the sweetness of it, basking in the unforgettable moments. My heart bursts within my chest at His unfailing love and at His revealing. For it has always been through my maternal heart that I understood His heart most clearly.

ALL is well with my soul . . .  .

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Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

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Not Guilty

It’s just been lately that I feel guilty.

Guilty?

About what, you may ask.

And the answer is this; Everything!

Someone just recently pointed it out to me. I did not even realize that I was doing it. I have been doing it all along, I just didn’t understand what I was doing, it has become so ingrained in me that it has become who I am and what I believe. It has become my truth.

But bringing the truth to light has been freeing.

And friends, God is in the business of freeing people, and He does it through truth.

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

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And as He always does, the Lord took me on a journey through His Word, to the very foundation of absolute truth.

And I find myself back with the children of Israel, traveling from the land of Egypt, slowly making my way to the promise land.

I am just like them you know; unbelieving, disobedient, and self seeking and the wonderful thing about it is this:

He loves me still, just as He loved the children of Israel.

And He delights in showing Himself strong on my behalf. He loves to peel back the layers of my heart and show me where I need Him in the deepest, secret places. Places that I did not even know existed.

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I have heard Christine Caine speak truth about the Israelite children. “God delivered them, He set them free from slavery, but because of their disbelief and disobedience they remained in bondage. What should have taken eleven days to get from Egypt to the promised land actually took them 40 years”, all because they would not believe!

I read their story, and I can’t believe what I am reading. I can’t believe that after everything that the Lord had done for them, after everything they had seen; His amazing miracles and His tender care of them, they still would not believe! They were rebellious and stubborn. They really frustrate me and I judge them harshly. I can’t believe how blinded they were., that they would turn from Him so easily, not trusting Him, not depending upon Him, and not believing Him! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!

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But then . . the finger gets pointed right back at me. Right in my face, and I feel the heat slowly creep into my face. I stammer and run for cover. I am guilty of the very same sins that I had accused the Israelites of. I was pointing to the speck in their eye when my eyes were blinded by a plank the whole time. (Matt. 7:5)

His rebuke was gentle and loving, motivated by a Father’s heart to set His daughter free. One more layer peeled back, exposing the ugliness of my human flesh. I finally understand that my feelings of guilt are a result of not trusting Him, not depending on Him and so, so sadly from not believing Him.

Still-even through my feelings of guilt- He finds me–not guilty.

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I claim boldly the covering of Christ, yet I wander around the desert weighed down with guilt and shame, not receiving or accepting the victory that He has available for me. And even though I am free from the law of sin and death, (Romans 8:2) He wants more for me, He wants me to also be free from the bondage that entraps me daily, and He does that with His truth. And if you truly seek Him, if you truly want the blinders lifted off of your eyes, He is faithful to show you.

IMG_1694IMG_1673So now, when the enemy attacks me with guilt I can’t stand firm and strong in the promises of my Lord. I can turn away from the lies that have nagged at me and held me down against my will. He has opened my eyes to truth and it has set me free . . . and I am free indeed. (So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36)

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“The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free,

~Jesus~Luke 4:18

Most photos are of Bridgeport lake.

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Autumn time in Michigan is magical!

It almost feels like you can reach out and touch the splendor of the Lord as the multiple color of leaves, each brilliant in it’s own right fall softly all around you, dancing and swaying as it’s makes it’s glorious descend to the ground.

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Even as a little child I understood the beauty of fall, the magnificence of the change in all it’s glory. I remember many walks to school spent basking in the moment, still framing the gorgeous landscape of the Lord. I remember clearly the wet, misty mornings, stretching my neck back to look up to see the leaves floating down around me. The ditches lay packed, thick and rich with the vibrant colors as the leaves settled there for their final resting place. It’s memory has stayed with me throughout all these years.

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It was usually the job of my sister and I, being the two eldest, to rake the multiple leaves into a pile. We would spend an entire afternoon, hours upon hours raking them into a heaping pile, just to spend a few glorious moments jumping into the pile and scattering the leaves all over the place. And then, we would rake them back up into a pile again and our father would set them ablaze and we would end the day with roasting marshmallows.

I can still smell the smells of fall, and feel the crisp, moist air brushing against my face. The colors are so vivid and beautiful within my minds eye, forever pressed deep within my heart. These are sweet, precious memories to me.

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Moving to Texas has been a wonderful adventure and our life here has been blessed. But there has always been a forlorn feeling when autumn rolls around. Even though fall in Texas is beautiful, it cannot match the display of grandeur that we had been accustomed to in our early years.

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I made my sister this quilt so it would be a constant reminder of that time so long ago and so far away. A simpler time, carefree and filled with beauty. I named the quilt Scattered Leaves.

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(yes, they made a mistake in the text. They said I was from Tennessee)

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‘If you walk in My statutes and keep My commandments so as to carry them out, then I shall give you rains in their season, so that the land will yield its produce and the trees of the field will bear their fruit.  Leviticus 26:3-4

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In His Presence

I stick close to them, guarding them and watching their every move. I understand that they are treasures, cherished by the ones who love them immensely.

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My little ones are always within my eyesight, always within reach of assistance; a much needed hug, the brushing off of grass and debris from a fall, or a prayer lifted up because of bumps and spills.

They bring me such joy in the watching them in their pure, childish play. It is one of my great pleasures in life, to see His tiny children playing and laughing. It just naturally flows out of them, unhindered, and it is beautiful.

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They always know that I am there and they see me watching them. My presence in the midst of them makes all the difference in the world. They run and play and delight in the time they have together knowing they are safe. There is no fussing or fighting amongst my bunch because they are always aware of my presence. Hurt feelings, bumped heads, tumbles to the ground are quickly recomposed. Their little eyes look to me each time something happens to see if I saw, and I smile and there is an understanding, and they make the choice in an instance to move on and not is stay in the hurtful moment, and they return to their play.

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And isn’t it also like this with our Lord. He is always here with His children, guarding them, and watching over them. We so easily forget that He stands guard over us, always ready to pick us up. Always there to draw us in and pour Himself out onto us. His presence is always with us, and yet we forget.

We are such visual creatures. We go about our lives, living and moving and having our being, unaware that He sees. Each day we live as if He were not here, as if He can not see and we are deceived.

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My precious daughter at a very young age loved to play with her barbie dolls. She would sit next to me and play as I went about my daily work. She would dress them, fix their hair and make them talk to each other. Out of the corner of my eye I would often see her look at me to see if I was watching. If I did not look at her she would continue her play. But if I looked at her she would immediately stop, just shut down. In her little mind if I was not looking at her I couldn’t see or hear her!

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And I wonder. How different would it be if our Lord opened our spirit eyes and we could really see?

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Like the eyes of Elisha’s servant when he feared because of the great army that surrounded the city. Elisha told him, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed and asked the Lord to open the eyes of his servant, and what the servant saw changed everything. Where there was an army, surrounding the city with horses and chariots, there instead he saw the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 2 Kings 6:16-17

Because the servant was able to see the presence of the Lord’s army, fear and anxiety turned into confidence and peace, all because he could see.

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I would imagine that if our earthly eyes could be opened it would make all the difference in the world. All the hurtful moments would only take one glance at His smiling face, and we would let it go. The pain that so many endure would be eased because they would see how quickly He attends to their every need. Fear would diminish because what is there to fear with Jesus standing right there next to you? The harsh words that roll off of our tongue so easily would be hushed because we truly understand that He hears our every word. Our selfish ways would cease in the presence of humility Himself.

We would all be looking to Him and we would be changed.

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And it is so, here and now, that we walk by faith, not by sight. And even though our physical eyes can not see Him, He is here! He see’s all and He hears all, and by His grace, He understands all.

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And Elisha prayed, and said, “Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. 2 Kings 6:17

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The Tent Sanctuary

Summer would finally come and we would push all the furniture against the wall and set the tent up right in the middle of our living room. It was his secret place and he loved little nooks and cubbyholes. It was a get away in our home just for him. Video games were always at the top of his priority list and we would string extension cords across the room to supply the TV and video equipment. Piles of books were stacked inside right beside the make shift bed. I would serve him snacks and drinks and he was a happy camper laid out inside his own little sanctuary. He sometimes had friends over to spend the night and they would sleep in there, but mostly it was just for him, and sometimes for me.

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We spent countless hours inside that tent, my son and I. We would talk and he would share his heart and I would share mine. We read books, all kinds of books, and talked about them. We told stories and expressed dreams. We laughed till our stomachs hurt and we also had some tearful moments, but my most favorite of all was our talks about God. We had so many precious moments talking about our Lord within the fabric walls of that tent. Questions, answers, prayer request and just plain lovin on Him by expressing our love for Him.

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I have many wonderful memories of our time spent in the tent, but my favorite story is one that truly expresses the heart of my young son and his love for Jesus.

It was customary for my son that when his daddy came home from work each evening, as soon his truck pulled into the driveway he would fly out the front door, race down the side walk and jump into his daddy’s arms. His daddy would catch him and swoop him up and they would hug and laugh all the way inside the house, each expressing the happiness at seeing the other. This was a special time for each of them and they cherished those special times.

On one of our tent talks, my son and I was talking about heaven; what it would look like, and how happy we would feel to be there. We both talked with such excitement at the thought of heaven, when suddenly he looked at me very serious. His eyes searched my face and I could tell that he had something very important to say to me. “Mama, do you think it would be alright with Jesus when I saw Him if I ran and jumped into His arms?”

I could not contain the tears that immediately seeped out of my eyes, my heart overflowing with love, “Oh son, I am sure that would make Him very happy!”

He seemed satisfied with my answer and our talk turned to another direction.

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But it left me with a constant nagging question, even now, nearly 20 years later. Do I have that hunger and desire to run and jump into my Savior’s arms? Do I go to Him everyday because it’s just what I have to do because I’m obligated to spend time with Him, bound because I am a christian? Or do I go to Him everyday because I love Him so much that at the beautiful sight of Him my heart desires to run to Him and jump straight into His loving arms?

My son changed the way I think that day. He challenged me to express my love for my Lord with abandon, to yield to my heart without restraint and to give Him my all! To make each approach to Jesus a special time, time that we both would cherish, an opportunity to express my happiness at just being with Him.

I have fallen short most times, but I do have these moments . . . these very special moments. . . .

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.” Jesus~Matthew 22:37

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Her little hand rested on the inside of the door, on the hinge side and I tried to close it. I felt the resistance of the door before I realized what was stopping it.

Huge crocodile tears streamed down her face. A deep crease, light purple in color, and  the blood was gathering just below the surface about to spew out, proving to me that I had inflicted an injury and the pain she must have felt. Her tiny little face was pale and she held her hand close to her heart.

My heart quickened, and pain shot from my heart throughout my whole body. My hands shook uncontrollably as I tried to see the damage that I had caused. My own tears ran down my face as I saw the hurt and pain that she was in.

I held her close, praying and covering her with tender kisses. My apologies ran out of my lips repeatedly pouring out over her and our tears mingled together as they streamed down faces and fell together onto her injured hand.

I could not stand to see her in pain, it hurt me to my core. Even now the thought of it congers up tears and pain.

This was not the first time I have felt this unbearable pain at seeing my beloved hurt, either physically or emotionally, and I am sure it will not be the last.

I hate this feeling, it hurts me so deeply seeing them hurt, having no control whatsoever, just watching. . . helpless. . .

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A prayer request came through this morning. A child of God is hurt, pain inflicted. And I asked God why there was so much pain everywhere. The prayer chain has been blowing up of late and broken hearts and broken bodies are scattered 

everywhere. It is almost too much for a person to bear.

But as I lifted this precious one up I realized how grieved our Lord must feel at seeing His children in pain. How it must cut Him, and cause Him great pain.

Jesus demonstrated this when His beloved Lazarus had died and He saw the pain that Martha and Mary endured.

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And if it pierces our hearts so deeply, how much more would it pierce the heart of the One who loves us so completely and unconditionally.

It was A. W. Tozer that said, “Only love can grieve.”

As much as our human hearts can love and grieve, I can’t begin to imagine how much our Lord must hurt over our pain, for the greater the love, the deeper the pain. For He is the Father that sees His children hurt, and He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. And He tells us this once in Psalm 147:3, then again in Isaiah 61:1 and a third time He tells us in Luke 4:18, and this time it is coming from the sweet lips of Jesus Himself, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed.”

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So it is in this truth that I lift these up to Him, knowing that He cares more for them than I could ever imagine, knowing that He and I are binding our hearts together on their behalf, knowing that I am giving them to the only One that can heal them, and He has promised to bind up their wounds and to heal their broken hearts. And dear friends, “He will ever be mindful of His covenant,” Ps. 111:5, for “He remembers His covenant forever.” Ps 105:8

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He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

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