It was said of David, by God Himself, that he was a man after God’s own heart. (1 Sam. 13:14, Acts 13:22). What a wonderful thing to be said of someone from the very mouth of the Father. David clearly lived out Galatians 5:10, desiring to please God alone, for David was not afraid to be undignified in his worship of the King of Kings. David appeared foolish in the eyes of his own wife, Michal, but he didn’t care what she or anyone else thought about him. David’s heart was to be pleasing in the eyes of his Lord, and that is the very heart of the matter.

I take my position on the step to watch my three year old granddaughter dance. She is clad in her brand new pink tutu. Her hair is pulled back into a tiny bun on the back of her head, tucked in tight with pins and hair net.

She is dancing just for me, putting on a show for her mammy. Every twirl, every leap and every dip is done on my behalf, to delight and bedazzle me.

I watch her intently, waiting for my cues. A quick glance in my direction tells me that it’s time to clap, clap, clap. A sudden pause is my signal to praise her. A high leg lift, and I break out in loud cheers and bravos. Magnific, magnific I yell out!

She tries to mimic everything that her much older sister does during her dance, and she is unsteady and shaky as she holds her position for my applause to come to an end.

And she most certainly makes my heart smile, I am thrilled to the core by her heart to please me.

And my mind turns toward the Throne of God, and in the curtain drawn quiet of my home.

All alone, just us two, my Father and I.

I dance.

I am unsteady and awkward, often slipping and shaking as I twirl around and around for Him. I am so ungraceful in my meager attempt to please Him, but I refuse to stop. For in these moments, I can feel His heart smiling at me and I know He is pleased.

And so I dance.

But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.’    Acts 13:22

~But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16~

They fell softly and lovingly upon my ears. Just three little words, and I heard them so clearly and I knew exactly Who was doing the talking.

My eyes widened and my heart quickened. Oh goody! A new assignment? A new calling?

Just three little words. . .

“Come up hither.”

With much joy in my heart and an eagerness in my voice, I answered directly, without hesitation.

“OK Lord!”

His next words to me was a question and the answer did not come so easily this time, and just as quickly as the joy entered into my heart, it fled away. The smile on my face fell and my mind raced for an answer, but there was no need to search, for I knew exactly what He wanted from me. For His probing words searched out my heart and tested my mind, (Jer. 17:10), and now He was calling me to the mat.

I teach a lot about idols; what they are and how to recognize them in our lives, but this caught me completely off guard. I mean, I teach this to other people, how could I miss it in my own life. And honestly in my own self awareness and constant striving, I thought I was doing pretty good. In my mind, memorizing scripture and spending hours in prayer gave the appearance that I was doing ok spiritually. But He had something else in mind for me.

“Where do you spend your time in worldly pleasures and comforts?” He asked me.

My eyes slowly turned to my soft, comfortable chair, where I would crash every evening from exhaustion, not having the energy to take one more step. It served to comfort and sooth me while I watched movies every single night, unwinding and just wanting to relax and think about nothing. I don’t watch anything bad, just habitual, and it had become my idol, my go-to, my worldly pleasures and comforts. It was what I was turning to instead of Him and I couldn’t believe that I had fallen prey to it without my even knowing.

I immediately went into defense mode as I stammered out my answer.

Struggling with constant sinus infections and fatigue gave me comfy chair entitlement and I stood ready to defend.

“B-b-but Lord! You know that I don’t feel good and You know that I am exhausted!” I whined.

He answered, “You never asked Me.”

And He said no more.

He had approached me and made me an offer, it was now up to me. I knew what He was asking of me, but I had to make the choice to do it. I didn’t have to do it, He wasn’t demanding it from me. It had to be my choice.

Graham Cooke says, “If you say yes to Jesus, you’ll have to say no to something else.”

And my heart wanted HIM more than anything else, so I said yes.

He was waiting for me.

My saying yes took my relationship with Jesus to a whole new level. I had to open myself up, make myself available and position myself to receive everything that He desired to give me, and He desired to fill me up with Himself!

And it changed everything!

So the next day, and every day after, when my physical body felt frazzled and worn, I would call out to Him and in His faithfulness, He would strengthen and energize my body and I began to spend the time that I usually would sit in front of the television with Him.

This time has blessed me beyond words and He has filled me so completely, and I, like the Psalmist can say, “He has set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth—Praise to our God; (Psalm 40:2-3)

The sad thing is, that it has now become so apparent to me how many opportunities that I had missed and I grieve over that loss. How many people could I have been praying for instead of watching movies. How many hours could I have been spending with my Lord, how many lives could I have invested in?

I thought of the movie Schindler’s List. One of the most powerful moments in the story was when he realized that he could of done more. The war was over and he and the Jewish people that he had saved were finally free. As he started to walk away he suddenly realized that he still had more bargaining chips. His ring, his car and whatever he had left could of bought him just one more, just one more. . . .

I still enjoy my soft, comfy chair, but it serves me differently now and I love it even more. Much of my quiet time is spent there, I listen to sermons or praise music while I knit or sew, anything that will bring me into His presence.

I am not saying that I will not ever watch movies, I am saying however that I will not ever watch movies habitually.

This statue plaque is on one of the buildings in Budapest Hungary

The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer’s feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills. Habakkuk 3:19

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age. Titus 2:11-12

“Kory and I had this thing we would say to each other almost on a daily basis. “Are we winning, Mama?” Kory would ask.

“Yes, Kory, we are on the winning team,” I would always reply.” (excerpt from Ponderings of a Mother’s Heart)

Of all my years of subbing in the PE classes, one of my all time favorite games was called ‘Mission impossible’. The object of the game was “team work”. We would divide the class into two teams, one at each end of the gymnasium and each team had to work their way across to the other side of the gym. The problem was that the whole team had to make it across for that team to win, this was not a one man game.

Each team was given a scooter, 2-3 carpet squares and a jump rope. At the center of the gym was a huge black mat, with two smaller mats centered between that and the finish line. There also was a beach towel on each side, close the the outer boundaries. They could not touch the gym floor at all, or they would be sent back to the beginning. They could use the carpet squares, scooter and beach towel to walk around, but the black mats had to stay put.

I always enjoyed watching the strategies that each team would come up with, and seeing the team players, verses the self-seeking players. Those who only worried about getting themselves to the other side lost the game for the whole team. Usually the winners would depend on the stronger, athletic people to get them across. They would use two carpet squares and carry people to the center mat on their back, while others would drag someone on the scooter using the rope. It is always best to get the beach towel straight away, then several students could walk together on it using short, scuffling steps.

We would often remind them that they had to work together as a team to win this game, and when a team would lose because of some that were not team players, we would ask them this question. “Why do you think you lost the game?” And they would respond, “Because we didn’t work together as a team.” (they always knew) But the very next game they would do the same thing again, and we would talk about it every time. Eventually they would get it and they would finally taste victory.

This has been forefront in my mind these past several years, and I have been pondering our earthly walk with our Lord. I see so many self-seeking team members, each one looking out for his own interests. People who want their own way, who want their name known and their voice heard. God’s own people jockey for position, manipulating situations, demanding their own way and forcing their way to the front of the line, often times using the bully method. We are so afraid that someone may get something that belongs to us, or lose something that is rightfully ours.

Now, I confess that I am “chief among these”, which is exactly why the Lord has shown this to me, again and again. I mean, come on, who doesn’t want their own way, someone patting them on the back and saying, good job or great idea?

I believe that satan does the most damage from inside the body of Christ because of this reason. He doesn’t have to work very hard either, he just plants the seed, and sits back and lets our flesh come out fighting.

But what happens is this; we end up fighting against each other instead of working together as a team. Aren’t we all on the same team? Aren’t we all working for the same cause? Aren’t we all working for team Jesus?

Isn’t it time for us to “get rid of all evil behavior? To be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech?” (1 Peter 2:1) Let us now work together as a team, carrying each other on our backs, dragging each other along, supplying any means possible to get our team members to safety, and rescuing those of us that feel lost or abandoned. Let us do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above ourselves. (Philippians 2:3) It is time for God’s people to decrease, because that is the only way that He might increase. Even if it means that we get no credit, no applause, or no pat on the back, just knowing that we have honored our Father in heaven should be reward enough.

And in the end, when we make it to the other side, we will all come out winners!

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor (perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding) and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice (all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence). Eph. 4:31 (AMP)

The paddle slipped into the water, quiet and still, and I moved further out into the lake. The water slowly rolled down the pole and dropped noiselessly onto my arm, running soft and cool against my skin. The horizon was spread out before me, and the hills and trees stretched high to meet the expanse of the sky. It stood majestic over me, covering me with beautiful blues, and soft billowy clouds. Gentle breezes lovingly stroked my face and I closed my eyes and lifted my face that I might feel the full measure of it. I felt as if I was going to burst from the sheer beauty and glory of it, for I knew that I was in the presence of my Lord.

I stopped paddling and let the kayak drift were it willed. I sat still before Him, basking in His love as He poured it out over me. There was freedom there, being surrounded just by Him, no distractions anywhere, just Him, and He filled up every sensation that this human body is capable of.

Every place my eyes fell, I saw Him there, and I knew in my heart He wanted me to see Himself. I felt completely covered and I dared not move from this place. I was happy here, beyond content, and I wept under the weight of His joy.

There was a peace that overtook me and I leaned into it, pressing deep. The peace surrounded me on every side; the sky, the water and in the hills before me that enveloped me and I was completely hedged in. The warmth of the sun fell upon me penetrating my skin from the inside out. It felt comforting and safe. The only sounds I could hear was the lapping of the water as it tenderly brushed against the kayak, and my own voice as it responded to Him with songs of praise.

I thought about the peace that surpasses our understanding (Phil 4:7). It is true, I can not wrap my heart around anything that could surpass the peace that I felt in that moment, how can it be?

I stayed there with my Lord for as long as I could, then, with a heavy heart and with much reluctance, I put the paddle back into the water and turned the kayak toward the shore.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7